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I don’t care if my husband sees your boobs

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Mykl & I aren’t married yet. But I’ve been married before, and eventually I’ll be married again, and in either scenario, I just gotta put it out there – I don’t care if my husband sees your boobs.

OMG_Boobs

Thanks to Facebook, I saw a comment on this post earlier today titled: “My husband doesn’t need to see your boobs“. The gal who wrote the post claims she doesn’t fault women for wanting to share summer photos, that she isn’t shaming them. But apparently beach photos or poolside photos posted on Facebook ARE a threat to her. She actually goes so far to say, “But I want to tell you that it’s a stumbling block in our marriage.”

She goes on, of course. This line in particular inspired my response below, “Actually, I know it’s next to impossible to take in images like those and erase them from his mind. Because our men are much less emotional and are much more visual. And as quickly as I can forget your picture, it is filed away in his mind, ready to be pulled back out whenever he so chooses.”

Here’s why I take issue with what she says – Any photo ANYONE sees is filed away in their mind, ready to be pulled back when they choose. The same goes for something you see on the street or in church or at the grocery store. It’s called memory, and we all have it.

To take someone else’s natural behavior that isn’t directed at you or your husband and decide it’s a threat to your marriage is a disservice to yourself and your partner. It shows a lack of self-esteem, and more importantly, a lack of trust and faith in your bond.

To my (future) husband Mykl:

I don’t care if you glance at someone’s boobs. Heck, my friend Nicole has some nice ones.

Blondie_Bikini

If you see her post a photo like this on Facebook, I won’t hover over your shoulder and assume you’re mentally saving the image in your brain. And if you are, it’s really none of my business. It’s not my job to police your thoughts.

When you’re scrolling through FB and see a photo of someone like my friend Megan trying on a swimsuit and asking for input from her friends, I know you well enough to know you’re not going to go all creepy and add inappropriate comments to her post.

Megan_Tankini

In fact, knowing you, you’ll just keep scrolling through, because it’s one of thousands of images you see on social media each day.

Even if you happen to see a photo of my friend Jill prepping for a burlesque show (or for that matter, see the performance in person), I don’t really care if you see her boobs.

Censored_Boobs

See, babe, I trust you. I trust our relationship. I know that if you happen to see boobs – squeezed into a tight t-shirt, bared in a string bikini, covered under normal clothes, or otherwise – you’re a man capable and responsible for his own actions.

I don’t worry you’re going to fantasize about those women later. I don’t worry you’re comparing them to me. And if you are, that’s fine, too. The thing is, I know you’re with me because you love me. You chose me over the millions of other women in this world. (And let’s just acknowledge the giant elephant in the room – none of those other boobs are ever going to be an issue because I’m just that damn awesome.)

I respect you as a person. That means I don’t believe you’re some biological robot with uncontrollable urges to stray as a slave to your gender. I think you’re a smart, capable man, able to make his own decisions and choose his reactions to things he sees on social media and in the real world.

So Mykl, my love, I don’t care if you see other boobs. I know at the end of the day, the ones in bed with you are mine.

Love,
Jen

For more oversharing of my life, be sure to follow me on Facebook and share with your friends.

 

The post I don’t care if my husband sees your boobs appeared first on Life With Levi.


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